If you’re going through, or are about to go through a messy divorce, you know it can be difficult. If kids are involved, then you have the added challenge of caring for their mental well-being and self-esteem. Whether you’re getting divorced in Fort Collins or LA, you can still get the blues that come with a new separation. So here’s how you can cope with the difficult process.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s normal for you to feel a lot of negative things during this time. You can feel anything from anger to exhaustion, to confusion and plain out hostility. Remind yourself that you’re going through a challenging time and it’s okay if you can’t constantly focus on the positive. You will have negative emotions for at least some of the time. You might also feel lonely given that you’re newly divorced. Don’t fight your feelings. Rather, go with the flow and give yourself space and time to accept how you feel. It’s a big adjustment, after all.
It’s Break Time
Remember to give yourself a break. This is going to be a difficult time because you will be facing a lot of new changes. It’s alright for you to function at less than an optimal level during this time, so don’t think too much about this. You’re not superman or supergirl so take as much time as you need to heal and get back to the prime of your life.
Create a Support Group
You don’t have to be alone during this tough time. Remember to share your feelings with your family and friends because venting and support can help you get through this process quicker. If you isolate yourself, you will inevitably suffer from higher stress levels, lower concentration, and fragmented thoughts. Your support group will help you cope by taking you outside of your head and getting you involved in the activities you love.
Speaking of activities, take time to rebuild yourself both emotionally and physically. Be good to yourself. Practice the art of self-love by spending time at your favorite spa and/or wellness center. Maybe pick out a new workout or start doing something relaxing such as power yoga. Not only will you get fitter but you will be able to start anew gradually as your emotional health catches up.
PS: Don’t cope by using substances like alcohol or drugs. You will only be making things worse for yourself because you won’t be in your senses throughout the healing process.
Don’t Contact Your Ex
Divorce can bring up all sorts of memories, from positive to negative. You might have times where you’re sitting reminiscing about the good times you had with your ex. This might make you want to get in touch with them. However, this will probably be the worst thing you can do. Talking to your ex will only make things worse and complicate things further. Of course, you will have to meet your ex in court or during other divorce proceedings, but this will be in a controlled environment. Take your time and take a mental health break during this whole thing.