MIck Jagger once said this of rock stardom: ” A good thing never ends.” As late as 2007, at age 63, Jagger was still performing at rock concerts with his legendary band The Rolling Stones.
Now he’s 68 and still elicits screams, panty scrunching and propositions.
And it seems so do I – in China.
To be frank, campus life is sedate. I spread out in my apartment and write prose, ride my bicycle to the teaching building where all my classes are and soak in the manmade lake, curved bridges and pagoda structures.
I assumed I’d glide through, be unnoticed, because I look like everybody else. That has been an adjustment in itself – living in a country where literally everyone resembles me to some degree.
But not so – strange occurrences began to happen. It started with students early in the semester. Girls or boys standing up in front of an entire class gushing about my hair, eyes or overall beauty.
Emails from students dinged my inbox. My favorite to date: “Teacher Jeannie, I am very glad to be in your class, to learn all the English and yes – you are pretty.”
I was then asked to train faculty – help improve their communication skills. During the first class, two adult women shyly introduced themselves and then called me so beautiful before sitting down slightly embarrassed. It wasn’t just beautiful, but so beautiful.
Last week I gave a special lecture on the importance of culture – showing some photos of my travels, relaying the lessons I’ve learned. It seemed a success – people asked questions and I received a few complimentary emails afterwards.
As students and faculty dispersed the lecture hall – a small crowd stormed me. One set of girls asked me to head their Internet club (perhaps code for English club), while two boys and a girl discussed me as an oddity.
“She gives such a good lecture. And isn’t she beautiful? Pretty? Oh and so sexy.” One of the meatier boys then proceeded to talk about weightlifting – how often he does it and so on. Awkward.
Now if this had been a darkened room, with drum and bass – a few drinks in my body to fuel me and a Saturday night when anything could happen, this kind of attention is welcome.
The strangeness is the setting. This is a fairly respected university and it leaves me feeling, well, scrutinized from the wrong angle.
Nothing’s weirder than being called sexy by a student in a lecture hall. Oh, but this is China. And I guess this is what happens?
I’m honestly not sure.
What I am sure of is the falsity it creates. I now understand how Gwailo (as my mother called them in Cantonese) can generate mass hysteria. Have Chinese goddesses flinging themselves at them or capture the rapt attention of a Chinese person who laughs at everything he or she says or hangs on every syllable.
What it can create is inflation – in your head. You begin to see yourself as distinct – so much so that bold behaviours emerge or worse – a God complex.
I’m no prettier than the next girl, and it’s wise for me to remember this when I arrive in Europe by July and become old schleppy Jeannie again.
Expats – have you experienced this or witnessed it in action?










{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
@Lozin – I’m too old and intractable to change, my man. :)
@Jeremy Branham – Haha! You are being helpful, don’t worry! I’m only a 1/4 Chinese, so I’m guessing what fascinates them is I do/don’t blend in. Get lots of comments about my eyes – not sure how they look different than anyone else’s, but they seem to. Go figure. And yeah, think you’re right on my ‘perfect’ English – must fascinate them I guess.
Well it definitely seems like you got something going on in China! Maybe they just like someone that looks very similar to them but isn’t from there and speaks English? Maybe that isn’t something they are very used to so one of their own who is also very different may be quite intriguing for them? I really have no idea. I am just trying to help :)
My latest kick ass post is..A northern California hiking guide and photo essay
Interesting. Through my own experience I realised that attention is a double-edged sword. In this case, the flattery seems harmless, confidence boosting and if anything perplexing.
But as you described in the ‘To Lie or Not’ post, that attention can also be irritating or be outright harassment. In a way we all want to be rockstars, be the center of attention when we walk into a room, get special treatment etc… but I guess sometime you just want people to get to know you for you. Unlike a Rockstar though, you didn’t earn the attention through any great effort (unless you count getting the plane ticket). Everything has its price huh? All you can do is milk it but don’t chaaaaaaange maaaaan.
My latest kick ass post is..Scams in Istanbul: The reality of trusting (3 of 3)
@Jeff – You show your legs a lot do ya? Hmm…
@Waegook Tom – Now I’m picturing Hugh Jackman shirtless. Oh – you evil man! And yeah – compliments are nice as long as we ground ourselves in reality.
More days than not I get someone, teacher or student, in my Korean elementary school calling me handsome, or saying I have a great face. The more creative students say things like nice legs, or good body. Thanks elementary schoolers!
My latest kick ass post is..The Perfect Road Trip
Jeannie – I experience this all the time! I’m always getting David Beckham (we have the same hair colour…) and, erm, Hugh Jackman. I think the Jackman comparison is…well honestly I have no idea why. Especially since he’s a good fifteen years older than me and looks a damn lot better shirtless than I do.
Only the older students say that kind of thing though…my very little ones still call me fat and tell me I have a one-pack. It’s true (the one-pack, not the fat thing). I just semi-jokingly tell them that I’m going to kill them.
It was weird to go back to the UK after my first year in Korea and not get stared at or be the topic of conversation. I’m just a normal guy and you’re right, people do need to keep themselves in check. But the compliments are still nice ;)
My latest kick ass post is..North Carolina Sucks
@Ayngelina – Nobody tells you you’re beautiful anymore? I call bullshit. :)
@Joy – I think there’s a reason why your name is Joy – you spread it like the sun’s rays.
@Jeremy – Ha! I’m calling you sexpat from now on. :)
@Kelly – Aw, I love how it’s done that for you. :)
@Andi of My Beautiful Adventures – Thanks, luv. I may never be schleppy all the time, but aging I cannot fight! LOL
@Emme Rogers @ Roamancing – They never quite called me a celebrity – if they had, I could deal with that better than sexy in front of a group of students. Ha! And everyone should have a fan club!
@Kyle – Yeah.. .but you are hawt. Uh, it’s kinda true! :)
@Reg of The Spain Scoop – Precisely! It was so awkward. I would have never done such a thing during my uni days – perhaps in secret. And thank you for the compliment. You are so sweet. :)
@Sally – I nearly died when 3 of my classes did speeches about Justin Beiber. That’s when I figured out – I’m apparently old and don’t get it. You get hit on by more taxi drivers than I certainly do. I get young tail, where are the dudes my age? #Fail
@Jackie – Haha! I know I’m no dog, but this is a little excessive. I can imagine someone could take these reactions as the norm. This ain’t the norm by any stretch! Thanks though, for calling me awesome and gorgeous – I’ll take that to the grave. :)
Maybe you should just accept that you are awesome and gorgeous and you are finally surrounded by people who tell it like it is? Haha it sounds like a pretty nice problem to have, as far as traveling issues go. I’ve yet to venture too far outside Europe, and I tend to blend in for the most part (at least when I’m tan, in which case my Italian heritage is helpful), so I haven’t really experienced something like this. I can imagine it would be slightly surreal and would take some getting used to.
My latest kick ass post is..travel inspirations (think Thelma and Louise…but with less murder)
Umm, yeah, I can’t say this has ever happened to me in the 3 semesters I’ve been teaching in China. Sometimes my students call me “cute” or “funny” but they think everything is cute and funny — dogs, babies, Justin Bieber. So, yeah, not such a compliment. In fact, the only people who ever call me beautiful or sexy are the taxi drivers. But, I guess that’s okay as they’re a bit more age appropriate. And they have cars so they can drive me places. Win-win!
My latest kick ass post is..Weeklyish Challengey Thingie: Decide What To Do With My Life (Yes, Again)
Well, can I just say, you’re beautiful! They’re right! But maybe also it’s common to flatter one’s teacher or something? I’d ask another teacher about it. Calling you sexy is crossing some line, I guess. Wouldn’t make me feel comfortable.
My latest kick ass post is..The Scoop Interviews (no. 13): Scott Martin, ‘Madrid Man’
Oh yeah, Chile has done the same for me…given me a higher than normal self esteem for sure :)
That is hilarious! Happy to start the fan club on facebook, or has the Internet Club already done that. Been called a celebrity a few time before, myself, and I always find that perplexing.
My latest kick ass post is..Been Through the Desert on a Horse with No Name
You could never, ever become old schleppy Jeannie! You are gorgeous no matter what country you are in. Not sure it would ever get old to be called pretty, but I would want to be known for my other talents as well.
My latest kick ass post is..My Wedding & Honeymoon: Day 26
I know this all too well. It’s been an adjustment for me to live here, because I embody a lot of what they desire – very white skin, blonde(ish) hair, a “high” (read: big) nose, blue eyes… I’ve never been the prettiest girl in the room, yet I get a lot of the same comments as you do. My boss even introduces me as “the Barbie teacher”.
I will admit that it has helped me become a bit more confident and comfortable with what I look like and think that there is some beauty in me somewhere, but I don’t think I’m in danger of it giving me a big head! ;)
My latest kick ass post is..My Thug Life: Getting Shot At In China
Haha what a great perspective! Yes, I know what you mean. The Kiwi girls love me because I’m an American. The difference isn’t quite as great as China/England, but it still exists. Not that I’m complaining.
My latest kick ass post is..7 Ways to Save Serious Cash on Flights, Travel Tips from the Frommers
I understand that you wish not to allow the compliments to “inflate” you in any way. *And* I also think why not bask in it, it is beautiful energy that will infuse all that you create while you are there :)
What an interesting flip, when I lived in the Philippines people told me every day I was beautiful.
I miss that… ;)
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