There could be good reason why I’m single.
- I always pick nonsensical, dangerous destinations where you could be decapitated or kidnapped for ransom.
- I snore. So loud you’ll open your eyes expecting a 300 pound truck driver next to you. It’s ten times worse when I’m inebriated.
- I’ll always make you taste a dish first, in case of parasites or hair.
- If I even catch a glimpse of a rat, and let’s face it rats multiply across continents, I will shatter glass with my screams, thereby embarrassing the crap out of you.
- I’ll force you to carry the heavy gear. Cause I’m cute and can get away with it.
- My sense of direction is tragically bad, which leads to hilarity and serendipitous encounters – NOT.
- My bladder is the size of a kidney bean. Example: I demanded that a Thai bus driver stop in the middle of nowhere so I could take care of business during a precarious ride towards the Cambodian border.
- If you hanker for an erotic massage after a long day of traveling, forget it. My ex use to call my fingers bone spurs.
- I tend to wander aimlessly in markets. Welcome to two new emotions – annoyed and frustrated.
- Self-catering? What’s that?
Photo source: Perfect Getaway (2009).
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@Wandering Carol – I wondered if you could relate to my list. Could be the restless spirit in writers, I can’t abide by slaving over a stove. Cooking bores me, while cafes, wine and conversation do not. Go figure. The snoring though, that’s a deal breaker. My burden to bear. :)
Oh my god, too funny! This could be me. I’ve told my boyfriend we’ll be cooking all month at our rental in France this summer but I know – just know! – once I see an outdoor cafe and a waiter with vino it’s game over. Oven? What oven?
@Dark Nomad – Ooh, perhaps. But nobody enjoys potential kidnapping, it’s just not romantic. :) PS: thanks for stopping by!
I dunno about number one there – I know plenty of guys who would sit up and take notice BECAUSE you like destinations like that. ;)
@Keith – aren’t you glad to be married, and well past such lists? :)
@Jack (Eyeflare travel) – glad my flaws drew you to the site. :-D This calls for more embarrassing lists or a Jackass type video.
@Candice – Cornelius liked #5 too. He added cuddly to the mix. We’re already travel friends, but next we need to be drinking buddies.
@ShannonOD – Haha! We should not pair up on The Amazing Race or Survivor. Or, because of our awesome energy serendipity might be in the cards. ;-)
Oh man, right on! I think I seconded about 7 out of 10 of these (I’m not a huge snorer, but me and maps just don’t have a good relationship! ;-) This really cracked me up!
LOL @ #5. I still want to be your travel friend.
Fantastic list :-) Definitely gave me a laugh, and you’ve got a new reader.
Hilarious.
@Chris (Aussie Nomad) – well, us Canadians are famously passive/aggressive. We could still rendezvous (kinda, sorta, not). :) See, what did I tell ya?
If you wanted out of our rondevu Jeannie, you could have just said instead of making a list to scare me off :)
@Johnny Vagabond – I’d like to hear about this horrible woman someday. Is someone that shitty actually real?
@TLWH – hey, with all my serious talk, once in a while I have to let loose. I’m a strange combo of intellectual and sarcastic. :)
@Stephanie – true! re: couples. I’ve always found it refreshing to ‘meet’ someone while traveling. It’s sexier. :P
@Cornelius Aesop – good idea on the cuddly. Should revamp this post. Hehe.
I love number 5, if you add cuddly then like me you get away with a lot.
Haha, love it. There are all these traveling couples about but I’d much rather strike out on my own… less hassle.
Ha, great list! About time someone wrote something like this. Hope it doesn’t stem any future romance!
nope. can’t be. you’re way too friendly ;)
Johnny baby, don’t you recognize me? I had everything redone just for you!
are you *sure* you’re not my ex-girlfriend?! ;)