There could be good reason why I’m single.
- I always pick nonsensical, dangerous destinations where you could be decapitated or kidnapped for ransom.
- I snore. So loud you’ll open your eyes expecting a 300 pound truck driver next to you. It’s ten times worse when I’m inebriated.
- I’ll always make you taste a dish first, in case of parasites or hair.
- If I even catch a glimpse of a rat, and let’s face it rats multiply across continents, I will shatter glass with my screams, thereby embarrassing the crap out of you.
- I’ll force you to carry the heavy gear. Cause I’m cute and can get away with it.
- My sense of direction is tragically bad, which leads to hilarity and serendipitous encounters – NOT.
- My bladder is the size of a kidney bean. Example: I demanded that a Thai bus driver stop in the middle of nowhere so I could take care of business during a precarious ride towards the Cambodian border.
- If you hanker for an erotic massage after a long day of traveling, forget it. My ex use to call my fingers bone spurs.
- I tend to wander aimlessly in markets. Welcome to two new emotions – annoyed and frustrated.
- Self-catering? What’s that?
Photo source: Perfect Getaway (2009).